Then, on Tuesday evening, I was driving home after working in Birmingham, savouring the delights of the M5 and listening to Radio 1, when the annoyingly-handsome Nick Grimshaw interviewed Jodie Marsh on his show. And in fact, she didn't sound that bint-ish at all. She's now, apparently, a body builder, and a pretty good one to boot - she recently came 5th in the world in some female body building championship. I had a look at some photos of her on-line this evening (makes a change from the type I normally look at) and she's built like a rhino on steroids.
Now - and no offence to any female body builders that may ever read this (probably after Googling 'rhino on steroids') - that's not really my thing. I prefer my house to be well-built, rather than my women. But the bit that inspired me was this: until quite recently, she was a fairly gym-fit woman, dabbling in a bit of body building, until she was asked to do a TV show which involved entering this world championship. She was then given 8 weeks to get totally ripped. And she did it. She dedicated every day for 8 weeks to a ridiculously low-fat, low-carb, high protein diet, and a shit-load of exercise. She didn't deviate once. And, 8 weeks later, she came 5th in the world.
And something about that has got me thinking.
Now, if you're reading this, you probably know me. And it's probably fair to say that I'm not exactly slim. I haven't yet, quite - I hope - tipped into that fun category of "morbidly obese"... but it's probably only a matter of time...
.. okay, here goes... I'm putting it out there that I've not been happy with my weight for the best part of the last 15 years or so. There have been periods over those years when I've changed my eating habits, worked out at the gym, and lost a bit of weight... but it rarely lasts for long. And the old 'one step forward, two step back' (or sometimes three steps back, if the pasties are particularly tasty) rule applies, so that as the years have gone by, the pounds have gradually piled on... one off, two on, one off, three on, and so it goes on...
But now I've decided that if Jodie Marsh can do it, then so the Hell can I.
Now, I'm not planning on becoming Arnold Schwarzenegger in the next 8 weeks. That would take at least 8 years, or a miracle from lickle baby Jesus. BUT I have decided that in the next 8 weeks (starting on Monday), I will change my body and lose weight more extremely than I've ever done in a similar period before. And to do this I WILL:
- Eat EXTREMELY healthily;
- Exercise EVERY day;
- Touch NO alcohol (yes, not a drop... this will be the really hard bit);
- And NOT deviate once from this for the entire 56 days (I had to work that out on my fingers).
Now, there may be some of my annoyingly fit friends reading this, who can't live without a spinning class at least twice daily and who eat acai berries like they're going out of fashion. And you're probably thinking "So what?". Well if that's the case... no offence... but @$*& off. However, if any of my average Joe (and, not wanting to be sexist, average Jo-anne) mates are also reading this: for those of you who - like me - enjoy nothing better than a bottle of red wine, a chicken vindaloo and half a small-country full of chocolate on a Friday night, you will no doubt appreciate that to stick to this for 8 weeks will not be easy.
So... "why has he decided to set up a blog about this?", you may ask (if, that is, you've even bothered to read this far). To be honest, not only have I never thought about writing a blog, but I've generally never liked people who do. I've always thought such people are probably full of self-importance, a bit train-spotterish, and writing a lot of drivel that most normal people will have no interest in whatsoever. Just like me right now!
The reasons I've decided, though, to publish my thoughts and tribulations into a blog over the next 8 weeks are three-fold:
(1) Mainly: because as soon as I post this drivel that I'm writing to Facebook in a few minutes time, I've committed myself to this challenge. 100%. I've fallen off diets (sorry - before some health guru corrects me - "changing my eating habits for life") before. In fact, the longest I've changed my eating habits for life, previously, is 3 weeks. And exercise always tails off after a while. But by telling any of my friends that might be bothering to read this that I'm going to do it - and after bothering to write all this spiel about it - I'll look like a fool if I do fall off it by next Wednesday. Now, I have looked like a fool before - especially that bottom incident at Bath train station involving the police - but I don't intend to this time, no way, Jose.
(2) Now this next bit already sounds cheesy and self-important in my head before I write it. But I'm going to write it anyway... maybe I'll inspire someone else (bleugh!!) But, seriously, if anyone else who struggles a bit with their weight wants to join me in my challenge, let me know. You can share my blog. Hell, perhaps we could even go for a bicycle ride or eat some broccoli together.
(3) And, finally, I thought I might try and raise a bit of money for charity as well. I also decided a few days ago, that I'd do "Movember" this year (raising money for prostate cancer research by growing a moustache in November). Therefore, as my 8 week challenge spans November, I thought I'd combine the two. So if you want to sponsor my 8 week challenge and/or the growing of a ridiculous moustache - in the style of Hulk Hogan - during November you can do so here http://mobro.co/SimonWicks (But please don't be put off following my blog if you don't want to donate - that's your choice, I'm not going to ram it down your neck!)
Another chunk of cheese: like I say, the main reason I've decided to be a tit and write a blog is because I could do with the support of my friends to keep me on track for what will - quite frankly - probably be the toughest 8 week stretch of my life. So please - if you've managed to read this far without falling asleep - can I ask you to keep checking in over the next 8 weeks, and lend me some messages of support, or even derision. To be honest, any contact will be welcomed!
And for your hilarity: coming up over the next few days (before Day 1 of my challenge on Monday) : I will be checking and revealing my actual 'Before' weight, and taking and publishing some pretty graphic 'Before' photos. Make sure you've not just eaten when you view them.
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